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Poems and Thoughts by Frank Maurer

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Cancer

Cancer Demons opus 86

Oh, my. Yet one more bout of cancer--now on my crown.
I have met Her in so many various forms.
She continually attempts to slip past my bulwark,
Attempting entry into my inner vulnerable, vital mortal coil.
So far, Her nemesis, my knight-like doctor, has repaired the gates
And maintained a defensible depth in the moats.

To demonstrate our courage and defensive posture--
I laugh and joke, while discussing poetry and medicine and science
With my capable surgeon who, during this last episode,
Cut out a teaspoon-sized pit down to my very skull.

So there, undeterred, and fiercely opposing---You Cancer!

Radiation and Half a Beard opus 120

I am, at 81, well into my Third Age.
With this comes challenges to health;
Cancer; the nemesis of human existence.
A neck squamous cell challenged my life
And it was decided to thoroughly operate;
Muscle removed, glands eradicated, and a graft.
The graft became a joke,
In that my neck started a strip of beard,
Borrowed from my chin!

Now, after some healing, the discussion commenced to radiation.
Oh, my. Another decision.
More than a month, for every working day,
I journeyed to Sacramento--the radiation center
Of the Mercy group--Mercy? Perhaps.

Encapsulated in a modelled, personalized upper body form,
Lying immobile, imprisoned; slowly, the pending feast of a Bar-B-Que.
As the days passed, the effect began to be manifested
In redness, rawness, and rigid muscles;
But I was still alive, perhaps now fully saved
By the additional prophylactic radiation.
Oh, and it was mentioned that, "You might lose your left beard!"

Time passed and, indeed, no beard and just bare, soft skin.
Friends showed their sympathy and compassion
But added, "Well, with half a beard, you surely will remove the opposite side?"
Now in my Third Age, without hesitation,
I blurted out with gusto,
"Of course not; I will just create a new style."

Nora opus 225

On this day, seven years ago at 0115 AM, my wife of 31 years passed.
This was a dynamic marriage with ups and downs--with most of the former.
As with all long term relationships,
The memories become more poignant as time passes.
We met when Nora stopped by to purchase a Wood Duck,
One of many species of wild ducks which I raised on my farm.
She always joked that she came to buy a duck
And left with the duck and a share in half a llama!

As time passed, our experiences became more profound,
Commencing with matching our new kitchen colors
With soft orange-yellow hues of a very studied sunset.
We continually worked together to manage our farm,
Working with chicken and turkey harvesting,
To netting catfish, using our 100 foot seine-nets,
To gathering vegetables from our one acre chemical-free garden,
To raising orphaned emu chicks in our living room!

Nora was a world expert linguist in the Breton language.
She guided me through her conference trips to Scotland and Ireland,
Where I found my own genealogical genetic roots.
Her use of continual elevated vocabulary raised my speaking abilities.

Her encouragement and support for our Quail Ridge land trust was incalculable.
Together, we raised six million dollars and purchased about 2000 acres!
This area is now part of the UCD Natural Reserve System;
Many thought its success would be absolutely impossible--not so!
Beyond this, a Student Endowment is now in a very active, continual place.
Nora and I never had children, but she always nurtured my two boys.

Her end was finalized with a merciless plague of cancer
Which raged throughout her body--she worried most about losing her special mind.
This disease ended the life of a most talented person--
Such knowledge and love was lost to the world forever,
Except through all those remaining who knew her
And continually recount her productive and giving life.

(Also on this day in Texas 60 years ago, JF Kennedy was assassinated.)

To My Dermatologist, Christie Carroll, et al opus 273

I would like to take a moment
To thank you for the several times
You have salvaged my aging life.
This is why I feel I am obligated
To give back as best I can
To my wonderful society and all it has given me.
When I am no longer to be productive--
However that might be interpreted--
I ask only that our citizens remember
The attempts I have made
To augment our environment in all its forms.
I truly wish I could live longer
To have the time to pay back what I justly owe.

A Delayed Tale opus 300

Well, I waited for over an hour for my 1:40 PM appointment yesterday,
With my dear oncologist of the last 17 years, Dr. Alali.
When I first met him, for our appointment after I began to mend,
I suddenly blurted out, "You have a third, middle incisor!"
He was originally from Iran and I, having lived in Turkiye,
Had a great deal of cultural overlap with this gentle man.
He reacted appropriately, with soft surprise that I had noticed such a thing.
I explained I was a biologist and that I observed a full gamut of phenomena.
Over the years, we have had many wonderful 'extra medical' discussions.

Now, continuing--Dr. Alali, very late, finally arrived, being the only oncologist on duty.
(I offered to voice a complaint to the administration,
But he answered that things were being rectified.)
Towards the conclusion of our chat and a little examination,
Dr. Alali recollected what he had seen 17 years ago while passing,

As I was lying in the exam room with my then new assistant oncologist.
He told me that he saw a very sick man and he figured in his head,
"That man has six months to live".
I never knew this and it took a moment to comprehend just what that implied!
We smiled together and Alali added that I now looked--cancer-wise--just great.
He said, "I don't always get the timeline correct and when asked,
Must qualify my answer by saying so."
Well, it was profound, especially not knowing his thoughts previously.
I left the room, not really too phased, having gone through so much in my life,
From flying through snowstorms, walking through the Kalahari Desert,
And having been, nearly fatally, attacked twice by very large African elephants!
At any rate, I have 'been given' many extra years--
All the more reason, I wish to give back as much as I am able.

Designing Bandages alla Betsy Ross opus 377

I was with my wound women at the hospital,
Designing bandages to cover various wounds
Derived from several cancer operations.
I volunteered to shape and fit these wound covers,
To be long lasting in spite of bodily movements,
Thus maintaining their protection.
Elyse, the LVN, allowed me to participate
And seemed to be impressed with my work,
Suggesting that I replace her as the 'wound lady',
When she was next on her few days off!
What a nice compliment for me--
Her words were the catalyst which harbored up so many memories
Of my past cutting, snipping and binding together with thread,
My past delving into the world of Betsy Ross.
The clincher to all this was when Britta, her boss and my wound guru,
Smiled approvingly to make it all believable!

My Outer Body--A Petri Dish for Cancer opus 465

When I was young, eight decades ago,
Parents simply sent their children out in the sun--
No prep, no concerns, no worries of future consequences.
Most likely today, I suffer from the sun's delayed anger--
Freezing with liquid nitrogen, multiple biopsies,
And surgeries therefrom;
Slow healings being observed to monitor progress,
Combined with concerns of what was next.
Such is much of my last tier of life.

As a result of this torment of lighter skin--
An evolutionary result of necessary vitamin D,
Homo sapiens having migrated, darker skinned, out of Africa--
The trade off was between darker skin and needed vitamin D.

Today, in a park or on the street, meeting blond, hatless children,
I gently remind their parents of the great need for a hat and sunscreen,
So these innocent ones do not go through my plight.
To emphasize the point, I remove my hat, lean over,
And display the bald spot on my crown, formed from serious surgery.
I replace my hat, state I do such because I care for them
And move on under our life-giving sun to my next episode.

The Weight of Two X Chromosomes opus 605

Could there truly be a benevolent, all-knowing deity creator?
Just compare the relative ease with which men (X/Y) 'sail' through life,
While women (X/X), the absolute necessity for the continuation of human life,
Must go through such relative torment to be bearers of that life.
Large breasts--unlike any other ape-- are permanently formed--
A possible platform for cancer.
Then menstruation, continually forming 'ripe' eggs
(But inconveniently in between the bleeding periods),
Until one is finally nabbed by a sperm to create an offspring.
Birth, often very difficult or deadly,--
And then several years of producing milk to feed such offspring--
Sometimes too much with accompanying pain and other times, paucity.
Then the female is discarded from reproductive abilities,
Through the process of menopause--far sooner in life than her male counterpart.
What makes this all happen,
Is that women are endowed with a longing for an offspring--a child.
And thus, such longing, masks the clear thinking,
Concerning all the trials she must go through (sometimes alone),
Allowing human kind to reproduce and multiply for the benefit of the species.

A Cancer Progress Report opus 654

I do not talk a lot about my leukemia and skin cancers.
They have dominated my efforts to prolong my life,
But there is so much in my life on which to concentrate,
I guess I just wanted to communicate on the worldly wonders of life
Which surround us each and every day.
By continuing to study on every one of those days,
I have learned and shared the history of the Neanderthal,
Delved into the fascinating science of meteorites,
Tektites, and many impactiles.
One of the latter types is the beautiful Libyan Desert Glass.
By writing my 'Poems and Thoughts' about my life history
And my present reactions to world events and politics,
The writing has kept my mind very active,
And later, will be a gift to my family to read after I am physically gone.
I still run my 37 acre farm, both mentally
And (with help) to some extent, physically.
My conservation work in California as well as in Wyoming
Has allowed me to help the planet in a small way,
But also to be able to continue to reach out to fellow people.
All these activities have kept my mind active and young!
I am 84 and am ready to pass into the next stage of life.
I am unafraid for myself, but am concerned how the world will be managed.